i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
