I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Couch. On fire.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
