he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
if only i could text you this smell
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
