walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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