I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
