My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
