ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
