so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
