I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
