your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
