My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
