Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
