I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just had sex bonerless
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
