did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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