are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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