I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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