i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
