it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Farmville is her only friend.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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