batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
