Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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