Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
