she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
PANTIES FOUND
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