no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
