remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
