Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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