Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
