ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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