shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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