I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
