Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
