I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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