I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
