so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Randomize
