After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
