just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
wow bdsm is so cute
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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