I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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