ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Couch. On fire.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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