How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
