she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
third nipple confirmed
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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