Ambien. No doubt about it.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
