I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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