i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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