no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
