Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
