You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
MIDGETS
????
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
