At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
