Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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