was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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