Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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