dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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