I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
